Friday, April 29, 2005

Career Spring Fair Or: How I Felt Like a 400-Pound Hooker on a Gay Cruise.

So I was informed by one of my new readers through my wife that Western, my college of past, has a Career Day whereby a bunch of Really Important People come to campus and tout their businesses. I thought that since my day wasn't long enough, I'd try to attend and try to find some jobs. The friendly website advised making 25-35 resumes, to which I scoffed and made 15 copies of two kinds of resumes - one with an emphasis on video production, and the other emphasized a general video/retail/prostitute that I was. I ended up handing only two away, and neither of them really seemed interested. They were just holding on to them to "check" if there were positions available.

So I'm walking from booth to booth, explaining my situation as if they could give me some piece of advice, or at the very least buy me a bag of chips or something.

"Hi. I graduated with a video production degree (filmmaking degree just sounded too... creative.) and I was wondering if there were any opportunities with your company, as far as marketing, documentation, blackmailing of high-ranking executive members..."

"Yeah, we're Boeing. We don't do that. Fuck off."

"Hey, can I have this cool booklight?"

"Sure. Good luck!"

So went the day, me trying to sell myself as some video production wizard to a bunch of governmental branches and retail oriented places. The Costco guy suggested that since everyone worked up, I should apply for the warehouse job and then work my way into corporate. Target wanted me to sign up for a management seminar, to which I said, "I have babies, so my schedule's pretty tight". She probably recoiled because she thought she heard scabies.

Peace Corps offered to send me abroad, where I could teach indigeous people how to make a DVD, but I told them again, I have a family, and I was going to be a snooty American who will deprive other people from a Third World Country how to do a batch edit on Final Cut Pro. One guy from one of the lesser known government agencies was kind enough to say that he's been wanting to do some video, but hasn't had the grant. He took my email just in case he gets a grant. I will be waiting ever so patiently by my keyboard for his reply.

And that was pretty much that. I retreated, defeated and feeling like the nerdy geek who's been turned down by all the girls at the dance, and scanned the indexed cards on the bulletin board. One that caught my eye was about video production for Sound Transit, and it sounded like a pretty decent gig... until I came home and looked it up. I might not qualify because I'm not currently enrolled as a student, which really sucks. Oh well. At least I have my booklight.

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