Saturday, July 03, 2004


Serving as an exclamation of forehead-slapping self-realization, I had to go take a shower to wash the stupidity off of me. After a week long bout of confusion, I finally come to the conclusion what the hell had gone on with my financial woes. I will now tell you the story, but first we have to go wayyyy back to a simpler, more idealistic me.

(Wavy lines, dreamy sound effects, sepia tone.)

About two years ago, I started a checking account that was separate from my personal checking account, in order to keep the expenses, well, separate. That was for Uncle Sam's sake. So I put $5.00 into that account, and never used it because I didn't ever make any money off my business. Everything I made had to be put back into supplies, equipment, and ferret rentals.

(Wavy lines, dreamy sound effects, sepia tone.)

Fast forward to earlier this week, when I got a new debit card in the mail. I'm usually excited about getting new cards because mine get worn out, and the holographic dove starts to look pretty sad after a while. I noticed that the number was different, but paid little mind to it. Until...

The next day, while at Asia Market getting my supplies of real instant noodles not made by White People, I tried running my card and it didn't go through. So I ran it through as credit, and it was fine. Later that night, we went grocery shopping and the card didn't work again. Damn, I thought. They reset the stupid pin number. So we ran it as credit. Didn't work either. So I had to run home to get my checkbook for that.

Today while miniature golfing, I ran my card - no problems. Well, just a moment ago, I realized what had happened, and my head turned into a giant boob. Like a huge breast, with the nipple as my brain. Essentially, when I had done was cut up my valid Debit card for my personal account, and overdrew twice on my inactive account that I had set up for my business. So now, I have no debit card, and my other account that I haven't touched since I opened it is now very overdrawn. So tomorrow, I'll have to drag my long face down to the bank and explain what a twit I was, and hope that they can waive my overdraft fees based on my IQ quotient. I mean, it's like 50 bucks in fees. And they say stupidity doesn't hurt.

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