Saturday, June 12, 2004

About a Girl

I feel bad for Zoe because she doesn't get the same kind of attention and anticipation as Alex got when he was still in my wife's womb, and sometimes - often times, I don't really think about her that much. Huge part of it is of course, Alex's keeping me pretty busy. I try hard to pay attention to the fact that my wife is indeed pregnant - after a whole year of pregnancy, it's easy to forget that there was once a time when my wife was not pregnant. For a while after Alex was born, I would often freak out when I realized I was laying on my wife, and putting too much weight on my wife's stomach, until I realize that it's just my wife, and there was no baby inside. Well, obviously it didn't freak me out enough to get me off my wife, because she was pregnant three month after Alex was born.

But sometimes I do think about Zoe, if she'd be possibly cuter than Alex, and have the sweetest little voice. I'm glad I ended up with one of each, because I think both of them will be very influential in my life. I still fear the world we've created for our daughters, but I intend to keep her close and safe to us. I worry about her decked out in pink garb, looking like Barbie's wadrobe threw up on her. I worry about having to change her diapers and work around her girl parts. I can deal with boy parts, but girl parts will be different. Argh, I'm freaking out just thinking about it.

I worry that Alex would bully her, but I suppose that'll be part of life. Alex doesn't seem to display any violent or mean spirit, although he's might curious. Might wanna find out how squishy Zoe's eye can be. So, I worry about that. I worry a lot for my little girl, but I think she'll be different than Alex in a lot of ways. I imagine her being cuddly, and being the sweetest little thing.

I can't believe in two months, I'll be a father once again.

And then I'm keeping my hands off my wife. Damn sexy woman.

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