Circle of Life

Can't seem to say that without Elton John belting it out in my head.

So this is the theme, the cyclical nature of life, and round things.

Hi, I'm an Adult. Wait, no. I'm Lying. I'm a Teenager.

Despite how my postings about our resident teenager has caused many readers to hate my ass, I'm posting anyway because nobody reads this blog anymore anyway. And I'm the king of my blog. So, our daughter got into a big lecture/trouble/verbal smackdown today, because once again, she has not taken care of her business. It all started last year, when she didn't return the chocolate she didn't sell for choir. There was some returning snafu, and somehow she had convinced us that it was resolved. Until the end of the semester, when her grades were withheld because they said that she owed 70 plus bucks. So my wife told her to resolve it, and since then, she's been dragging her ass on the matter, not talking to anyone about it, but worse of all, lying about it. Like saying that she did, or that the infamous, "the teacher was busy," or "I couldn't find her," or the reliable standby, "I dunno."

So my wife talked to her about being honest, and how she's lost her trust with us and how it'll be damn near impossible to let us even consider dating because she'll lie more than a sleeping dog for no good reason. Then somehow the topic of lunch came up and my wife asked her what she did for lunch, and she mentioned that she was laying on the couch at school. She also claimed to have had pizza for lunch. Well, which is it? Pizza or couch. Turns out she was just on the couch, and was lying about eating. And she was dizzy and had a headache, very likely because she wasn't eating. And this is after a huge discussion about lying. Not even two minutes had passed.

Alex and Zoe would have their heads handed to them if they tried to pull this off when they became teenagers. So, we're back to dealing with the lying, and dealing with the same problem as we did last year - which should've been resolve eons ago. It's not about the money - it's about taking stock of your actions, and actually, just giving a shit about something other than how you look and your boyfriend. I mean, c'mon.

Viva Las Vegas, Part II

Our honeymoon in Vegas was supposed to be the last "adult" vacation that my wife and I would ever embark on for the next 18 years, but I guess I like to swallow my words. The thing is, I've been wanting to take my mom on a vacation since forever, because she doesn't get to see the world as much as I think she deserves to. And I thought, well, it'll be nice if I could take her to Vegas, and it'll be slightly cheaper when the babies are still under 2, because they'll fly free. But we got the OK for her, and I spent the day searching around for good rates without sacrificing too much quality.

I'm really excited except I'm frightened to death about the babies. Being on a plane with two little babies who usually enjoy their freedom is going to be some form of claustaphobic hell that I never envisioned. Zoe especially, does not like to be held unless you're moving. And Alex will downright fight you if you're not letting him do what he wants. We're thinking of everything we can to distract the babies. Toys, food, video from my videocamera, a lot of cough medicine... Calm down, I'm just kidding.

Cough medicine is for me.

We're still up in the air about the Grand Canyon. 6 hours each way from Vegas? With two babies? You suicidal?

Alex's New Trick.

He can say "Ball" now.

The Right to Write!

Part of why I'm feeling more verbose on this post is because I just cranked out the first 10 pages of pure comedy for my sitcom pilot, which I'm probably going to do with a shoestring budget. I'm not doing it with the intention of being picked up, I just want a good product to shop my talents around with, or at least just find an agent with it. Basically, it's very much like "Arrested Development" and "Scrubs" in format, which is a audience-free, camera-roving type comedy that bends reality from time to time. I feel like I'm layering more jokes than plot right now, but mostly because I'm taking my time with the plot. I've got a basic plotline and a premise set out, and characters pretty much locked down. So I'm just so much happier just writing it, mapping out this story in my head. It's such a great feeling. I mean, I'm writing dialouge between a man and a salt shaker. How much fun is that!!!

Well, I've beat the theme to death now. Now I make my wife happy...





By letting her read the blog!

Pervert.