Friday, March 14, 2003

Pain, Tears, and Itchiness

With the help of Trenchcoat, we put up the king size mattress in the room, and it's a huge ass mattress. It has two seperate zip codes, and to a bedbug, it must seem like Africa. If Africa was covered in flannel. Anyway, slept on it last night, and FC woke up great. Her back was superb, with so much support that she just was happy. Me? Like I was kicked in the neck and back by a stampede of schoolchildren in a Baskin Robbins. I couldn't even lay on my side because the mattress was so firm. So my breathing's really weird, my head feels detached, and FC feels bad for me. But I feel bad for complaining to her as well.

But last night, before the deathly pain that now currently inflicts me, we were laying in bed with Franklin, the wonder cat, and we were leaving an imaginary space between us, where the baby could lay. We were imagining that the baby would lay there while we just smiled at each other, the happiest place on earth with a lotta love flowing all around us.

Then I would wake up and my ass would be kicked by the mattress.

So I woke up in pain, tried to lay back down in some comfortable stance and got bored, so I turned to "A Baby Story." And I knew it was going to happen, but when the mother gave birth to a little girl, I sobbed like a monkey without his bananas. This lady gave birth in a rocking chair, which as a little weird, but it was such a beautiful thing to watch. And yes, it's true, when you get older as a guy, the screaming from the pregnant lady no longer seems sexual in nature (when I was a wee lad, it seemed kinda sexy.) and the blood and gore of it seems pale to the wonderfulness of a baby. This has happened to me before when I watched Nova, where it was more graphic (which was the original reason why I tuned in), but then when the baby came out, my tears followed and I was very confused. What is this emotion? Am I really a woman?

I'm joking.

Anyway, when our baby is born, watch out for me. It'll definitely be a Kleenex moment.

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