Did my supposed last wedding of the year, and I'm just exhausted today. If I ever do weddings again, I will do only ceremony and reception. No more of this whole day field trip day.

I met a really nice older lady yesterday, who was the bride's mother's best friend, and her name was Rose, or Rosa as she was also referred to. She was probably in her 60s, really nice lady who was born in Sicily, and she had the coolest accent in the world. It was fun listening to her talk, about her husband who passed away four years ago, about their marriage, about her kids and her grandchildren, and about the house. The nurturing side of her came out easily, offering me cookies, a seat, and even a coke, none of which I took. Looking at all the black and white photos in her house, and the dinnerware that she got as wedding gifts from her relatives back in Italy, I really envied how some people have that history of family so omnipresent in their lives. Old photos of families, and just wonderful aged and yellowed snapshots of what seemed to be a marriage full of happiness. The way she spoke so fondly of him makes me feel happy -- that no matter how cynical the world gets, it's still astounding how a human being can make another human being feel.

I myself lack any history, being uprooted from my birth country at 14 is quite a stressful thing to do. All my childhood remmants were either given away, or thrown out because US Customs generally frown on migrating with furniture and boxes of crap. So, gone was my Snoopy doll, and my original pillow... but probably the thing I missed the most were my composition books, where I discovered writing as something that I really enjoyed doing. I started writing some really detailed stories and got a lot of good grades for imagination and whatnot, and I miss not having that.

Perhaps one day I will have the kind of family closeness that I've always wanted, it's really tough to say with today's thinking. Even I myself need to improve with my own family relations. It's too easy to drift apart, and sometimes I attribute my tendency to not be too close to anyone to my childhood. It's tough to be attached to anything that'll leave you eventually.

To my wife -- of course this doesn't apply to you, sweetie. You're my best friend in the world and I couldn't imagine the rest of my life without you.

Separate post.