Saturday, August 02, 2003

The idea of me quitting the business of videography has been floating around for a while now, and it actually started out strong, being the career route that I was going to take when I left Voicestream. Even while I was at Freddy's, I was certain that I was slowly working my way into videography. But doing my job at Freddys and then coming home and editing has taken its toll. I can't see my friends, I feel guilty while taking time off, and people just don't appreciate my work on a personal basis. It's just a service now, and in my view, not a very good one.

My wife and I had the conversation about this, how I don't think any of the stuff I've been doing is any good, while she insists that it is good, and that I'm too critical of myself. To an extent, I know that to be true, but I also think I'm a lousy videographer because I'm constantly obsessed with making it look like a movie.

I don't know, I've done a lot of weddings so far, and now I have an anniversary, and two weddings to edit. I got one to shoot next week, so that'll be three more weddings to edit. After that I think I'll just hang it up and stop doing it. It's not good for me anymore, and the money's not great.

My son's about to be born in a few weeks now and whenever somebody asks me how I'm feeling, all I can ever manage to say is, "Stressed. I got weddings to finish." Now, this is a reality that will be around for the next few months, but it's something I just have to wrap up and throw in the towel. It's taking too much from me and it's disruptive to married life, not even counting Fatherhood.

Sorry, but I just have to vent. It's just stressing me out.

Well, back to editing.

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