"Ain't that a Kick in the Head."

Frank Sinatra sang it best, and I proved it right. We went paintballing today, and I have to say that I'm happy that Trench and Syrinx really enjoyed themselves, along with some of their other friends. Syrinx was the most suprising one, I think, being how I heard that she was anti gun, and she herself admitted to thinking that she would really hate it and have a horrible time. Countrary to that, she had a blast despite being shot in the head a couple times. A couple of friends enjoyed it too, while a couple opted to sit out the other games.

Me, I was all gusto going into it, but I have to be perfectly honest - I'm very disappointed in myself. I say this not because I got shot in the head twice, and in the side once, but also because the moment came and went, and I froze all three times. Paralyzed by fear, froze in my tracks, just hid and prayed not to get hit too badly. I was the guy in Saving Private Ryan who froze and watched his friends get shot.

I know, some people are made for that kind of stuff, and some people aren't. I think I was of a different grain, the tougher type, the kind of guy who would step up when required and do his best. But evidently, I'm not. I'm the draft-dodging, mommy-begging type who would rather be somewhere nice and safe, selling war bonds or something.

I'm generally okay with that, but I think I'm just a little disappointed because I suggested it, I was really looking for it, and like the first time I played paintball, I was uncomfortable with the situation. The intimidating overwhelmed me and I just waited to be slaughtered.

My wife loves me still, and she told me that it was okay. Strange thing was, she was worried about me the whole time, and I was thinking about her a lot. She said that I was a sensitive type of guy, and that was perfect for her. And I guess that's what's important.

But I'm still a wuss.

I don't like projectiles coming my way. I did not like getting shot in the head. Twice.