Sunday, April 24, 2005

Vegas Travelouge: Day Three.

Sore Asses and Baby Deafness

Don't be like me and try to drive to the Grand Canyon from Las Vegas if you're travelling with children. There are less painful ways to torture yourself and your children.

We started the day slightly later than we wanted, hitting the road at around 8 in the morning. Our first stop was surprisingly closer than expected - Hoover Dam was merely less than an hour away. We stopped at the cafe and had some breakfast, while enjoying the Dam for what it was. A big thing that was holding water back. My fear of heights was tested as I gripped the ledge with my free hand while taking photos with the other. It was kinda neat, I suppose. I snuck in a few photos here and there whenever I wasn't holding a baby.

The drive there wasn't hard - after all, it was pretty much straighforward, with a few turns here and there. The roads were so long and similar, just miles and miles of desert, that I ended up going a little faster than I was supposed to and go ticketed. But my admission of guilt with my comment about "really wanted to get there with two babies in the back" helped reduce it to a $50 fine, rather than $160. which would have sucked.

When we got to the Grand Canyon, it was already about 5pm, Arizona time. We looked over the edge while I clung onto Zoe till she squeaked, and my mom kept reminding me to stay away from the edge. No kidding, there isn't much between you and the bottom of the Canyon. The railings that were present were at the right height to flip you over if you did lean too far over or run into it, so that you could land on your head instead of your ass. Not that it matter how you landed anyway. My favorite sign posted was that "Most who die have gone beyond walls or railings." So evidently, some people do die from looking at it, or at the gift shop...

The stupid village was already closed, since most of the visitors to the Canyon don't drive that far and plan ahead, and we were only there for about an hour and a half before we left. The second observation point that we went to had no railings, and that was fun. Kids were like half a mile from the edge.

A stop at Wendy's, and we tried to trick the babies by making no further stops. It worked for about half the way, but the third hour in, babies got mad. He screamed and cried, She scream and cried, and together in unison, they both screamed and cried. My ass was starting to fall asleep, but we drove on all the way back to Vegas, never exceeding the speed limit because I didn't want to be the idiot to get two tickets in a day.

By the time we got back, we were peeling ourselves out of the van and the babies were worn out from being angry at us. A bigger problem awaited us: The minivan had hundreds of dead bugs in the front and the interior had cheerios, wrappers, and a dead hitchhiker. The car rental place would charge for a dirty vehicle. D'oh!

The babies fell asleep rather quickly, after my wife and I pretended to be logs and ignored them. That was fun.

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