Saturday, April 01, 2006


In commemoration of my third wedding anniversary, I would like to praise my wife's three roles in my life that has made this marriage such a blessing of the non-denominational kind.

Mother to my Children

Whenever my children say something like, "Where's the ball? I don't see the ball. Oh, there it is!" is pretty much a direct influence from my wife. She's given them so many cute little nuances and speech tidbits that they're practically little versions of her. Except maybe a little more drooling. Thing is, when I picked my wife to be my wife, I didn't really think about what kind of mother I'd like for my kids, because I wasn't really thinking about kids at all. But lucky for me, I found me a nurturing, caring mother for my kids. I couldn't imagine any other mother who would decide to go back into motherhood after having two kids, and give up her free time to be with two little cuties. I may be the crazy clown parent who does funny dances and give them giggling fits, but I'm very grateful that she is there to ground them to reality and to make sure they like, learn stuff and become smart. I don't know how my kids would turn out if I had married another woman, but I know they wouldn't be as cute as Alex and Zoe. She gave them the beauty gene - I gave them the offbeat humor gene. Although I have to say, Zoe's personality is definitely derived from my wife's. She's got my wife's stubbornness and maternal instincts. Alex got my anal retentiveness and my humor. Sorry, buddy.

Best Friend

When the times get tough, and kisses and hugs and nookie doesn't solve real world problems like financial hardship, being short on rent, or parenting woes - those are the moments when I'm very glad that my wife is my best friend. I mean, she's the best friend that I've wanted my whole life - someone who doesn't treat you like a sidekick, or someone who doesn't latches onto you too tightly. Her humor is on par with mine when it comes to grossness, and she's got the best reactions to my attempts at humor. That is great for someone like me who craves reaction to my stupid humor - but fear not, she's got a pretty silly humor at times. Her trademark is hanging out with you, being normal and stuff, and then when you drink something fizzy or life-threatening, she'll hold out her arms, make a face, and waddle like some deranged tree toward you while making some odd amphibian noise. Her best score was when I was eating a potato. Having potato come out your nose? Not recommended. You smell spud for the next few days.

I feel alive, and capable, and ambitious, and motivated, because my wife loves me not only as a husband, but also because she loves me as a person, for who I am. She allows me to grow as a person, and yet she doesn't expect me to become anyone in particular. I'm an extremely lucky person, and I only hope that I can make her feel the way she makes me feel.


(Due to some self-censorship, certain graphical details will be replaced with references to celebrities.)

How lucky am I? I married me a pervert. I mean, how else would you classify a mother of two who snags herself a college student? Who was a virgin? Who had a 12-inch Tom Cruise that needed some Monica Lewinsky? I mean, she likes my Randy Johnson so much that sometimes I have to tell her to stop Todd Bridges it, because if she does it too much her Susan Sarandon will be left out and I'll just Kevin Bacon too soon. And then I'll just have to watch her Kathy Bates herself to a George Clooney. Of course, I could always stick my Will Smith in her Cameron Diaz, and she likes me to swirl my Tom Jones around her Eva Longoria, which usually brings her pretty close to Marisa Tomei, if not just completely. I like the way she uses her Jodie Foster, she makes my Johnny Depp all excited and then I just want to Britney Spears it right in her Eliza Dushku. Yeah baby. That's the Shakira talking.

But seriously, I think I found me a keeper. There's a fine line between a prudish nun and a sociable nymphomaniac, and she's right there with me. And that's kinda nice.

this entry disturbed me. too many celeb names drew twisted pictures of massive group orgies with celebs! hahahaha uhm yeah anyway, once again, congrats guys! :)
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