Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Half Full... The Glass is Half Full, Damnit!

It's a vicious cycle, really. I get all depressed about my situation and blab about it on the blog so that my captive readers who are really hoping for more photos of babies have to read about my pessimism, and then I actually start feeling guilty that I'm such a downer on the blog. I think I hate it more when I get so down that I bring my wife down right with me. So in this post, nothing but sunshine and kittens in pails.

So the other day we actually got the hospital bill, which my wife has been dreading for months (yes, it took two month before they sent a bill). Reason being, Alex was born last year and we got a bill in the $1000 ballpark. We made some stupid payment plan to stall till January, then used about $600 to pay off the rest of the balance. That was our PPO plan. Well, we switched over to HMO this last year, because we couldn't afford the premiums anymore. We really didn't know what to think about the HMO, what with all the bashing in the media and movies. The co-pay was a little higher, and prescriptions were higher. But we thought that it would sure beat having to pay 20 percent of the total bill.

So my wife comes into the room and asks me to guess how much the bill was. Well, the total bill turned out to be $7565. And insurance covered everything but... 50 bucks. That was our end. 50 bucks. Naturally, we were pretty happy about it because that was about 4 days in the hospital, plus getting her tubes tied on top of that. So we're sticking with our HMO and we'll have another baby next summer! Yay!

Half Full.

So today, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas came out after months and months of me drooling over it. I even hatched a plan to purchase it even though I have no money (by working five extra hours, which would cover the cost of the game when it goes on sale). But I went over to the Home Electronics department and held the game in my hand. It was so close, yet so far away. I could always donate some bodily fluids or something. I've proved that I'm fertile. Although my donor profile would probably be a little sad. "Auditor, Blind as a bat, Not Athletic, Not Bookish, A Little Like Santa, Likes sex jokes."

Also went to the bank today and saw someone holding a little baby. I didn't really even see the infant's face - could've been the ugliest baby with the biggest nose in the world, but it got me to thinking about Zoe, and how really beautiful and wonderful she really is, and how much I love her. I was also thinking that I better knock it off with thinking about how high maintenance she was and how she sealed my freedom and all that other junk. So I went home and held my baby and kissed her many times.

Another positive thing, I scored 56/196 in the 72nd percentile in my latests photo Challenge, and the theme was School Days. I personally thought my entry was iffy, but I guess it was executed well. I skipped the "Poverty" challenge, but should be able to participate in the next one if its not too far out of my reach.

Another positive thing - I can sleep in tomorrow. Yay!

Sunday, October 24, 2004


I've finally pinned down this general feeling I've had for the past couple months - it's this fighting feeling that I'm having when I have to watch the babies by myself, and sometimes even when I'm co-piloting this parenthood thing with my wife home. I keep thinking that there's going to be some calvary that'll come, that some relief is in sight. Every Weekend, I look forward to my wife coming home. Every Monday, I look forward to Wednesday, because it's the only day that we both have off, and I would be past the lonely Monday/Tuesday night gauntlet. Every Thursday, I look forward to the weekend, when I have time off. Then it just goes all over again. My wife tells me that I should just accept that this is going to be the way it is, but I'm still pretty stubborn about it. Truth of the matter is, I know that at least once Zoe is even a year older, she'll be ten times easier because I'll have my other arm back. Holding a fussy baby is certainly an aspect of parenthood that I won't miss.

My wife come home from work today and took a shower, and while I was downstairs spacing out/taking drugs/eating wild mushrooms, there was a tremendous bang upstairs. I ignored it, but Alex started crying, likely from having jolted out of his afternoon nap. I thought nothing of it, and then later my wife comes down and tells me that she fell while coming out of the shower - slipped and fell on the floor. I felt bad for having extremely bad response time (none, really), and that I should probably check on loud noises if they were to ever happen again. She's fine, a little bruising in her arm, but probably more careful to fall whenever she's in the same visual space as me so that she could at least throw something at me to get my attention.

Alex got it first, and now Zoe's got a runny nose and a bit of the phelgmies. It's affecting Alex's sleep a little bit, and Zoe seems to be quite miserable with it. So my wife had to cancel a mondo playdate with some friends so that the other babies don't get it. Alex has had a lovely pooling of mucus and snot juice under the collarline of every shirt he's worn all week, and I've had to wipe his face a number of times already. Trust me, a year ago, I would think it unsanitary to put someone's snot rag in my pocket. Now it's leaning on practicality.

So goes another week of baby wrangling. I'll probably not post for a few days. Mondays and Tuesdays are pretty bad for me. I will be skulking.

Skulk. Skulk.

Oh Hail.

Holy Hailstorm, Batman!

Alright, I'm not witty enough to think of a better title, but it pretty much sums up our reaction when it suddenly broke into a hailstorm yesterday while we were visiting Jill. Jill, if you're not acquainted in our glossary of relatives, is my wife's oldest daughter, and technically my stepdaughter. But since she's only 4 years my junior, that's not really brought up. That kinda just gets ignored. Anyway, we went our to her place to see her new home, and to wish her a belated birthday as well. I was initially not that hyped to go, since I haven't had any time to myself - but I'm glad I went to see the kids go insane.

The hailstorm probably only happened in North B'ham, because there was no sign of it when we went home. But we walked over to her new house and looked around, while Alex, Joseph and Jane run around the empty house with its black tarped floors opening cupboards and yelling at the top of their lungs. Then when it started to hail, the kids were laughing at me when I was trying to catch the hailstones. But no kidding, it was coming down pretty big and hard for about 5 minutes.

After that, we were treated to Alex and Joseph goofing off at the dinner table. Joseph would stick his slice of pizza in his mouth, and Alex would go into jovial fits of laughter, and Joseph would laugh back at him. Then Jane would laugh just because the other two were laughing. Watching the two boys was a lot of fun, giggling up a storm of their own.

For the after dinner show, the kids were given full permission to go insane, because they would all scream at the top of their lungs, and run around randomly in circles. No reason or rationale behind it, as if someone had just squashed the queen ant and the ants were just going nutso. That was a lot of fun to watch, and I do have some video clips of it, but since it's too dark I'll just leave it to your imagination.

It's also very amazing to see my step-grandkids getting so used to me - Jane would want me to pick her up to the ceiling so that she could pick rainbows, and Joseph would run up to me to have me pick him up so that he could cuddle with me. Something disarming about me, I suppose. Like a Chinese Santa or something.

I'll post a picture of the hailstones at Fifth Eye, 'cause I don't wanna clog up this blog, but check it out. I also revamped Fifth Eye, but now my banner looks like I also read Cosmopolitan while painting my toenails in my very pink room. I know, men can also find beauty in things like daisies, but I'd rather it not be me.