Saturday, February 08, 2003

Oh, our store is going to go with the Kroger Healthcare Plan, which should be better for the baby. More affordable anyway.

Was driving to the mall for the ever so important engagement ring, when there were some people over a few bridges with signs that read, "No War with Iraq" and the like. I honked even though I have never really thought of it one way or another. By all accounts, I am pretty much against war with any country, because I just don't think it's generally a great idea when the policing country starts fights with other countries with nuclear capability.

But today it struck me a bit more oddly, perhaps because it's no longer just my life I have to worry about anymore. Although 9/11 proved that any attack on American soil is still possible, I'm not that worried about us in Bellingham. We are horribly close to the Canadian border, but there are way less risks associated with small towns.

Everyone talks about how they are unsure about whether or not they want to bring a baby into this world that we live in, but despite what could possibly happen in this country, I'm sure we'll handle it. The baby will have two loving parents, and that's a damn good start.

Added the comment boxes, thanks to Syrinx.

Friday, February 07, 2003

I have to apologize to my GF now, being how I worried her to the point of making her needlessly sad. At some point, I just need to know that I have to be supportive, and logical and worrying has nothing to do with keeping a good relationship with my GF. The baby will be a baby, and we'll take it from there. Religion and ethics aside, just take it one day at a time, and besides, we're going to be a healthy baby who will be just great. Just happy happy baby.

I love my GF!

And pretty much at Freddy's know now. GF told everyone and the general reaction was shock and happiness. I'm getting nervous about everyone knowing because now we are pretty much under public scrunity, not that it would affect much of the decision making made by us, but it will.

Took my GF to breakfast at Denny's this morning after we voted for our new health plan. It's strange, I've never studied what my GF eats as much as I do now. I'm looking at her plate and trying to break down the nutritional value of the hash browns, the English Muffin, and her eggs and bacon... Came to the conclusion that water was probably the only truly healthy thing, though eggs are good for ya.

Speaking of which, I always remember Mr. Strong always ate raw eggs and he got really strong. He's a square though, which makes no sense because you would think he'd bulk up and be roundish.

For those of you who do remember that children's series, it took me a very long time to find this image. Mr. Strong is cool! Mr. Strong has extremely high cholesterol! Mr. Strong is the sworn enemy of chickens everywhere!

Well, two additional people at Freddy's know about the pregnancy now. GF told another pregnant employee because they both had the same ultrasound appointment, so it was inevitable one way or another. The other employee found out from an employee I told, which was okay. My GF and I pretty much figured out that secrets don't exist in a place like that, leaks do. People can literally be destroyed by rumors there.

Which brings me to another topic, relating to my employment at Freddy's. I don't think I can really attribute this to our being pregnant, since it's more about me being married to my GF. The corporate policy is that couples can work in the same department, right? Well, Connie told me that from her conversation with my boss, it wasn't because he's mad at us, he's more so shocked and at a loss as to what to do with me. Apparently, because we're a couple and GF's pretty much my supervisor in a strange distribution of power, it's a bad thing if we work in the same department. I dwelled on it some more, because that's just what I enjoy doing in my free time, and it could possibly mean that I won't be in Apparel anymore.

So thoughts of quitting have crossed my mind, but my bills are certainly something to be reckoned with. Turns out all that spending of loan money in college was not entirely guilt free. So anyway, GF told me the other day that I should go into videography full time, and I've been thinking about that more. Trouble is, it's not guaranteed, and furthermore, I'll need a lot of money to set up before I can go out and shoot weddings. And I simply don't know if this is the right town for it. I'll have to talk it over with my sweetie and see what she thinks.

Thursday, February 06, 2003

Dansen wants credit, but he has to earn it.

Dansen's only helpful comment was, "Why didn't you wear a plastic cap, man?" and "Can I call you Daddy??"

So there, Dansen. Although if you offered to help with the baby, I'd let you. In a very distant, remote, financial way.

Haha, I miss being mean to Dansen.

Another big life-changing revelation:

I have to clean my room if I have a toddler with an oral obsession. My room is scattered with a lot of little implements of danger.

But I don't wanna clean my room!

Now that I'm aware that Syrinx is reading the blog and linking to it, I'm going through my previous entries and spell-checking. Man, I should actually edit my own writing sometimes - I'm like a high schooler.

Added a spiffy new logo for the page, and a guestbook, so feel free to sign in and say hello!


I should really be editing!


Wednesday, February 05, 2003

It was one of the very few times when JL’s (GF’s 14-year-old daughter) indifference toward important issues worked in our favor. Usually when we’re trying to have a TV drama moment with her, she either gets extremely quiet or needlessly irrelevant. For instance, there was a time when we were trying to have a heart to heart with her, telling her things like how my GF and I are someday going to be married and so forth, and that she shouldn’t let her father decide her life’s decisions for her... and we asked her: What can we do that will make your life happier. Her answer: Another cat.

And then I found out why TV dramas are so popular - their issues do get resolved. And they’re also somewhat on topic. Anyway, GF told her yesterday that she was pregnant, and her response was somewhat positive/indifferent. It seems as if we just told her we were having chicken for dinner. Her response was: “All my friends are going to Sehome. Can I go to Sehome?” Obviously, high school is much more important to her than, say, a new sibling. Which is fine, kids prioritize whatever’s important to them. GF was actually immensely glad because there was no drama behind it.

And then today, I found out partially what it was to be a dad. JL wakes up late, Mom’s already at work, and I had to drive her to school. Suddenly, I dwell on how kids are all about humankind learning to be less selfish and self-centered. For there will be a day whereby that will happen everyday with my own kid, whereby I have to wake up to make breakfast, and dress them correctly and send them off to school. All the important things in my life will become minute luxuries. Sleeping till 11am will no longer be okay.

GF told a few more people, namely her mother and her other sister. She’s actually afraid to tell her Dad. My Mom returns home from Japan on Sunday. By then I will no longer have any excuses why I didn’t tell her sooner. I think I’ll tell her after the 17th, so that it’ll be more concrete.

GF also told me that the tests on the 17th will actually reveal the sex of the baby, because of the procedures they’ll be doing. Normally they would find out on the fifth month, but because my GF is, lovingly put, more worldly, they have to do some tests by inserting a needle in her belly, and through those tests, they actually are able to determine the gender of the baby.

I’m trying hard to not favor one sex over the other, because it is pretty much out of my hands, but I think everyone around me knows what gender I favor. Not that it matters.

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

The pregnancy might have it's first negative repurcussion - our boss isn't talking to my GF either because he's uncomfortable with the burden of the secret, or he's upset that the Men's department might be in "jeopardy." Understandable, being how GF's will be on maternity leave, and then she's thinking of being part-time for a few more additional months to be with the baby, and that in additional to having to transfer me to another department will probably fluster him. Truth of the matter is, we're pretty strong as a workforce in Men's wear because we get a lot accomplished and we're both pretty good workers, and he's likely to lose us in some way or another.

Of course, with GF deciding that she might go part time for a while is a bit scary, which means that I might have to work more. I don't really know what that's going to do with my sanity. Hopefully the TV show will pay a bit more, or we'll just have to cut costs like mad people. That's what Dads have to worry about, the financial aspect of it. I think we'll be alright, we'll just have to make tremendous sacrifices. Which is scarier because most of the bills I pay now are absolutely not luxury, just loans for my business, my college education and so forth.

We talked about name changes with my GF, about whether or not she would take my last name or not. She thinks the only thing is that it would upset her younger daughter who just turned 14 because they would no longer have the same last name. I'm rather insistent that the baby will have my last name because right now my GF's last name is still her ex-husband's, and there's something twisted about naming my kid after her ex-husband's last name. Using her maiden would cause more problems, being how no one in the household would be named Webster.

Speaking of names, it is wayyy too early to be conjuring up names, but here are some possibilities that we've discussed. My mother at one time was doing a girl thing, writing down imaginary names on pieces of paper, much like the same way high school students do with their crushes. She had one name jotted down, "Stanford (or Stamford) and my last name". GF mentioned that could be the middle name or something, which I agreed because Stanford would no doubt be shorted to Stan, and I ain't down wit' that. I've always been partial to a couple of boy names, like Andrew, Andy, or Alex (hmm, all A's, didn't occur to me at all.) And girl names I've already used in one of my plays, but I think Zoe is a pretty nice name. Not so much after the Sesame Street puppet, but there was an actress in Singapore named Zoe Tay, and I was always enamored of her. Alright, enough of that.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

Not our ultrasound picture, but what our baby might look like at 9 and a half weeks.

Actually, I'd like to take the opportunity right now to Thank the people we've told, who have been supportive of us. It means a lot to us, and your offers to help us in any way makes me very glad to have friends like you guys. I'm talking about, in no particular order, Cody and Michelle, Brendon and Maralise, Karen, Bonnie, Ramona, and Bob.

Thanks, guys.

Another piece of news in the baby front - GF's older daughter found out today that she is expecting a boy in June. The ultrasound gave her that piece of news, so now she'll have a boy and a girl. Me, I'll probably have to settle for an only child, which is just fine, I think. Seeing some parents out there trying to juggle multiple children while they attempt to blungeon each other to death with vegetables makes me kinda not want children.

It's kinda odd that my GF's kid is having a kid, and that kid will be a few months older than our kid. We're just messing up the whole concept of family here. Which brings me to mention again, that "American Baby" is more in reference to this new family structure, whereby aunts can be younger than nephews, stepdads are commonplace, and age and race are not longer barriers within what we traditionally define as an "American Family." Come to think of it, it's for evolution, really. I couldn't diversify the gene pool any more if I tried. Okay, maybe going a bit far there.

GF showed me a webpage which has a week by week analysis of baby making, and even had an ultrasound picture of what our baby may look like. Limbs have formed, and the gender of the baby is developing. Amazing stuff going inside of my GF, it's probably immature of a statement for me to say, but it feels as if I'm in the beginning stages of loving the baby. I'm deathly worried about it, and I want everything to be okay. Right now I think the most I can do is to make my GF the happiest girl in the world, and those happy thoughts and emotions will be passed down to the baby!

Right, I hope Cody brings over Grand Theft Auto: Vice City tomorrow so I could reaffirm my masculinity.

So today was supposedly the big day for us, and although it did turn out rather anti-climatic, it was still a worthwhile day to mention.

Today we made our first baby-related appointment with a Dr. Miriam Sharpiro, who is now officially the baby's doctor. Turns out my Girlfriend's regular doctor doesn't do babies anymore, and honestly, I'm glad it's Sharpiro because she's actually an OB/GYN, and on top of that, she's just had a baby 7 months ago herself, which qualifies her as someone who is able to be a good doctor on the account that she's a mother and knows more about these things. I'm probably extremely old fashioned, but I don't know if guys make the best doctors for mommies to be. They're just not equipped to understand what women go through.

With that said, the appointment was a little lackluster. They confirmed that my Girlfriend was indeed pregnant, and that it wasn't some odd fluke, that 1% inaccuracy that forces people to panic. Then we asked some questions, she gave some answers that were actually pretty comforting, at least for me. Something about hearing it from a real live doctor as opposed to a website that said, yes, the risks of a complicated birth is there for an older woman, but damnit, Guy, most births turn out just fine so quit worrying.

We have an ultrasound scheduled for Feb. 17, and another weird test for the 24th. What was good today was that my GF got a prescription for prenatal vitamins, where were slightly bigger than engorged jellybeans. One per day and 10% of its goodness would be applied to the little one. So, we left without knowing much more extra, but nonetheless feeling like it was more in control. I'm glad at least I'm not carrying the child because all my worrying would probably not be the healthiest thing for a baby.

We told two more people today, our boss and I told Bonnie at work. Dunno, GF seems to have some kind of a system in telling, I'm just telling it to anyone and everyone. Bonnie was pretty positive, her being a grandma and liking babies and all that. She's actually the same age as my Mom, and hopefully will react about the same way. Doubtful, but I hope she's giddy like Bonnie about having a grandchild. Bob was simply very... indifferent. He mentioned that he might have to transfer me to another dept withing Apparel, because the store has this unspoken policy about couples working in the same department. I don't really see what the big deal is, really. It's not like we conceived the baby at work.