Saturday, March 20, 2004

I enjoy my weekends because I get to spend some time with my son, and although sometimes it gets a little difficult because I have to remember that our time together is really his time most of the time, I still get a lot out of being with the little guy.

Today I took another ill-fated trip down to Lake Padden, thinking that I could spend some quality time with Alex at the park. Well, in Bellingham Sunny skies doesn't always mean warm weather, and not more than 15 minutes into the walk we were already heading back to the car. The corner of his blanket was muddy from me dragging it on the trail and the poor little nose on his face had gotten red. He didn't fuss though, just sorta looked at me and gave me a sad little look of a frigid nature.

But on the bright side, he fell asleep on the way home and I managed to get a nap in myself once I put him down. Then I discovered another gimmick to make him laugh, and it really cheered me up. I was talking to him as usual, babbling some odd baby talk and singing odd songs that I'd just made up, and when I said something like, "Little Boy-oy-oy-oy. What'cha Doing-ing-ing-ing." at a very high pitch and he just started cracking up. So I did it again and sure enough, it was just the funniest thing to him. Of course, when I tried to show my wife afterward he just looked at me with a straight face. Always happens. But I'll try it tomorrow. His laugh is the happiest sound I've ever heard.

On the personal side, I've just been brainstorming like crazy. I created a forum for Bellingham Artists, hoping that I'd be able to find actors more easily, and for actors to find other people, I suppose. Also, I came up with a movie idea that is awesome by theory. If we find the right actors for the job, it would rule. Basically it will be an improv movie, but I thought of a good situation for the actors to be in so the action would seem natural, and I've made up characters with a good amount of potential to play up. We'll see how it goes. I'll run it by Trench and see if it's kosher.

I just told my wife that I liked it when Alex sits on the floor and sometimes he would extend his arms to balance himself. His butt cheeks don't have that kind of control yet.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Been rambling on about myself a lot lately, just thought a little Alex update would be super.

So the little boy is starting to teeth a little, the lower part of his gums are starting to feel firmer than before, and it makes me kinda miss his toothless grins already. The way he is now, without teeth, reminds me a little bit of the puppets on Sesame Street, whereby they'd talk or laugh and they would be no teeth, just happiness. Kinda weird, but he's really cute also when you dangle him upside down, and his mouth opens and there's no teeth in there. Hmm. Maybe the teeth symbolize a phase I'm not ready for - toddler-hood.

The other thing that he's been doing with little effort is sitting up straight! Sure, you have to sit him up manually and he doesn't quite know how to lay back down without simply toppling over and giving himself a minor concussion, but hey, he's sitting up by himself! Sometimes he does this tripod/yoga deal, but he's really starting to get the balancing act down. Right now it's about the only way that we know that he's where he's supposed to be, because once he's flat on the ground, he'd roll all the way out the door if he could.

He's also moving into the next step in gross baby nutrition now, into canned mush. He's graduated from green beans to sweet potatoes to carrots. This week, he's trying bananas and I think he has yet to get adjusted to it. The faces he makes when you feed him the bananas are really amusing. Innocent disgust. I say that because most of us know how to make a face when we're grossed out, but the baby boy is acting out of pure instinctual reaction to his food. So it's kinda cool to see that disgusting things transcend language.

There's probably more things that I'm missing, but I'm kinda on the verge of fatigue, so this post will have to suffice! Corndog!

Monday, March 15, 2004

"What is this, synchronized idiocy? C'mon!"

- Me, while driving on 520 during the morning commute to UW Medical Center.

Almost at the end of the day here, and we do have better news. We did the ultrasound at UW Medical Center and the Radiologist didn't see any physical "Soft" evidence of any of the symptoms of Trisomy 18. They looked at the heart, lungs, spine, head, and every little bone in that little baby body, even to see if the hands were open or closed. As far as she could tell, everything was about 80% sure that the baby looked normal.

With the genetic counseling as well, she explained that because of my wife's predetermined age and the blood test results, her risks were 1 in 40. But with the ultrasound results now, the odds have reduced down to 1 in 200 chance that our baby will have Trisomy 18. Although there are no physical evidence of it, it can be missed at times, or it could be a neurological version of it, which cannot be determined by ultrasound. But by then, my wife and I were comfortable enough with the odds not to do an amnio.

Which is a little ironic, considering that the risk of complication from an amnio resulting in miscarriage is 1 in 200, which we're not comfortable with at all - but the risk of Trisomy 18 is the same odds, and we're completely fine with that. We're obviously still a little worried, but we're going ahead with the pregnancy. The ultrasound did show that her placenta was a little low, which meant that vaginal birth might not be viable, but my wife didn't seem too bothered by that.

But it's certainly a game of odds, having a baby. I hope nobody has to go through the anxiety of wondering if the odds will be in their favor, but we are sure grateful for the support that we've received, and the well wishes and prayers that have been coming our way. Peanut is very happy too! The radiologist was remarking at the number of times Peanut turned completely around in her little space - while my wife felt nothing.

By the way, we're having a little girl!


Hence, the worrying begins. I've already picked out a shotgun to fend off all the guys.


Well, I would actually like to be asleep and could probably fall asleep if my brain wasn't racing with thoughts. I woke up at 4:45am here at my Mom's place feeling sorta cold, and my wife stirred as well. I asked her if Alex was feeling okay because we had to place his playpen in the bathroom (it's not as bad as it sounds, there's a vanity area and a toilet area - we didn't put him on the toilet) because if he saw us at all, he'd start crying. Not sure if it's because seeing us freaks him out or it just reminds him that he's not being held by us. Anyway, woke up, went the the bathroom and then I couldn't fall back asleep for the life of me. Laid in bed next to my snoring wife (they always snore louder when you can't sleep) and thought about everything from Peanut's well being, to whether if Alex was warm enough, to editing GTA Vice City clips to "Take these Broken Wings", to the soundtrack of "West Side Story." And those are just the things I remembered. I finally got up at around 5:50am and decided that it just wasn't going to happen. Not when Showtunes are running through my head.

"When you're a Jet,
You're a Jet all the Way,
From your first cigarette
To your last dying day..."

We had a semi tough time trying to get the little boy to fall asleep last night. To be more specific, he was sleeping until we came into the room, and then he opened his eyes, glanced at us, closed his eyes. Then he did it again, and realized, "Hey! You're not holding me!" and burst out in tears. My wife tried conforting him, and then I tried, feeding him some formula, which usually sends him to La-la land. When it was finally beginning to work, I sneezed and scared the poor little guy into tears again. My wife thought it was hilarious.

Haven't really had a clear head these past few days. I would embark on some little project, then toward completion I would stop and wonder why I was doing it in the first place. I was compiling a Super Mp3 collection of songs, thinking I would compile all my mp3 cds onto a DVD disk, which would mean that I would have 4.7 Gigs worth of songs, which translates to a playlist of songs that will play for slightly longer than I'll ever live. I was up to about 2.5 gigs of songs when I realized - That's 500+ songs. I don't even have that many songs that I really like. So I deleted the whole project and end up having nothing to prove for it.

So anyway, we'll find out later today if Peanut's going to be a George or Nancy. Those aren't really the names we got picked out, but they sure sound like great names... for somebody else's baby.

Oh yeah, watched "Monster's Ball" and actually liked it. I didn't think I would hate it, just thought that it's dark nature would just leave me depressed - but the resolution at the end didn't feel forced, and actually felt perfect. If you ever rent the DVD, watch the Behind the Scenes footage - I have a newfound respect for Billy Bob Thorton for being such a goofball on set. He'd say something snide off camera, something like, "My Daddy invented the first pre-measured, pre-mixed Douche." and then walk on camera and deliver his first line a second later, leaving the poor chap already in the scene having to carry on. And he'd do it. Worth a watch.

More later. The more I type the more awake I am!